This last weekend I had a birthday party.
I turn 26 tomorrow, which is kinda gettin up there. I am most definitely not a "young 20-something" I'm at best mid-twenties, at worst late twenties! AHH! To all of you older than me, I know I may seem young, but this is the absolute oldest I have ever been, and it can be quite daunting to think about. And unfortunately with age comes expectations. When I was in school, no one expected much out of me except to do well and finish. Now I feel the questions, expectations - time pressing on my shoulders - what am I going to do with this life I have been given? How am I going to make a difference in the world around me? Where am I going to work? What skills do I have to offer? When are we going to have kids? Are we ever going to own a house?
And nothing like a birthday to mark that I am another year older still working at my boring job, living in an apartment, and wondering what will be next after San Clemente. A birthday just reminds me that my ideas and ideals are still only in my head and reality has surprisingly not changed much.
And it's not all bad - a lot has happened in the past year. We have so many more friends, a church, jobs... we like where we live and are happy. So instead of stressing out about getting older and feeling like I will never be as successful and responsible as I should be, I decided to invite all my favorite friends in the world to come over and have a party. I made it a French theme, and Jordi put in astro turf on our balcony so we could all play bocce ball. We strung Christmas lights all over the place. We got lots of wine and cheese and sausage. Everyone came over and we watched the sunset and played bocce and had a wine tasting competition and birthday cake and even a dance party.
At the end of everything, I didn't feel old, I felt loved. I realized that time and age are something you have to meet head-on. Yes, we are getting older and time doesn't stop for anyone. Which means we need to celebrate life with those we love as often as possible!!
Monday, April 18, 2011
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